Mindful Mom. 6


Mindful Mom.

 

Yes my mind is full because I’m overthinking EVERYTHING because I am a Mother!

The amount of “What-if” scenarios that come along with being a parent is unreal. Its like a giant post-it inside my head at times. So I decided to look up exactly what overthinking meant and heres what I found.

Number 2 resonates with me on so many different levels. It fills my mind with images and emotions from past scenarios. I can look back and laugh now but overthinking has a detrimental effects on us Mothers because we give ourselves a terrible hard time about not being SUPER MAMMY.

DEFINITION of OVERTHINKING

1) Something is on your mind and you continuously think about it, the thought gets deeper and you start thinking about circumstances, events and possibilities that could be. In the end you have too many far out thoughts racing through your head.

2)A great way to fuck everything up. (Urban Dictionary, couldn’t believe my luck at this find.)

3) Think about something too much or for too long.

4) To spend more time thinking about something than is necessary or productive.

Every woman I know OVERTHINKS.

My reasoning behind this is, we got THE WOMBS and the “Give a Shit” HORMONES. So our thinking is very different to men’s. (You can read why I say this about men here )

MEN

Men, don’t feel guilt because they don’t over think.
Men, don’t lie awake at night worrying or stressing about something that happened earlier that day or 2 weeks ago.
Men, do one thing at a time and EVENTUALLY they get it done.
Men, don’t see dirt like women see dirt, whether its on the floor, in the car or on a childs face.

Honestly these are some of the times I’d like to think like a man because they have an innate ability to “Let it go” on all the things that are constantly spinning on the never ending To-Do-Lists inside my head.

Women do not “Let it Go” as easily as men because of how our thoughts work.

WOMEN

“How you think the thoughts inside your head totally dictate how good or bad you feel on a daily basis but MORE IMPORTANTLY how long those feelings stay inside you and affect your mood.”

Because we got THE WOMBS and the ”Give a Shit” HORMONES, the last bit of this sentence affects us women more.
We allow those bad feelings to stay longer within us and we make ourselves feel bad over and over again by using what I like to call “The Internal Nagging Committee”. You know the voices I’m talking about Ladies?

INTERNAL NAGGING COMMITTEE

That internal Nagging Committee that makes you feel like a shit mam, partner, sister, friend. The voice inside your head that insults you and makes you feel bad about making mistakes. The one that compounds regrets from the past with worries about the future. You know the one, yeah?

This is how powerful your thoughts are ladies and we are brilliant at OVER THINKING the bad stuff, so much so, that we’ve created a Worry-Go-Round inside our heads and even the horses are bloody exhausted with all the spinning!

worry-go-round

We drive ourselves insane with our own thoughts and we need to stop it.

It’s time to start using the thoughts inside your head to make yourself feel good by being brilliant at OVER THINKING the good stuff instead.

You know the saying, “its what’s inside that counts”.

How you treat yourself in your own mind, how you talk to yourself about yourself inside your head definitely counts.

Your Internal Nagging Committee is your mental health, its your sanity.

As Mothers we need to take care of our sanity and mind relaxation is the SUPER POWER that all us SUPER MAMMY’s need more of.

MAMMY-TIME

Being SUPER MAMMY begins with prioritising some “ME-TIME” into your daily life.

I hear what you are saying, there’s loads to do, if I don’t get this done and that done then I’ll never be able to sit down and get 5 minutes to myself and I agree.

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The reason we don’t get 5 minutes to ourselves is because we are always ticking off the things on our very long list of things we must get done. Think about it, the list will always be long. Its never bloody ending, in fairness and we just keep going and going and going until we feel totally wrecked by it all.

Putting ourselves first is a tough one for us Mammy’s but if we include ME TIME into the list then the list will actually be easier to get through. Simply because we aren’t running on empty and we’re not wasting time overthinking and worrying about the things we need to get done.

Top quality Me-Time is productive because it allows your brain to rest and relax and hypnosis remains unsurpassed as a method of relaxation. Hypnosis allows you to get out of your head which means you can begin to TAKE CONTROL of the NAGGING COMMITTEE inside your head and stop making yourself feel bad and you can stop the OVERTHINKING that causes the GUILT and WORRY, which means you can reduce the mental STRESS inside your head.

Remember, its not about not feeling guilty or stress or bad or not having arguments or shouting at the kids/dog/husband, this is real life, for Gods sake.

This is about YOU BEING IN CONTROL of your thinking and the length of time you allow your Internal Nagging Committee to nag you for and once is enough to make yourself feel bad about anything, in fairness, cut yourself some slack.

TEACH YOUR KIDS LIFE SKILLS

The domino effect this type of rethinking has on your kids is contagious. Kids learn by example so when you use these mind tools on yourself you are teaching your kids a life skill.

You are teaching them how to love themselves from the inside out using their very own thoughts.

You are teaching them how they can use their thoughts to change how they feel.

You are teaching them how to feel in control of what goes on inside their heads so they have the power over how they feel not somebody else.

These are amazing life skills when you think about it. They are right up there with swimming.

Think about this the next time you’re giving yourself a hard time inside your head and apply these 5 solutions.

Here’s my top 5 tips on how to stop the OVERTHINKING.

1) Once is enough to make yourself feel bad about ANYTHING so stop belittling yourself inside your head and start talking to yourself they way you do to your best friend when they are looking for your support and a shoulder to lean on.
Think about how would it feel if you start to make yourself feel good about yourself inside your head with your own thoughts?

2) Do a mind dump before you switch off the light to go to sleep. Post-its and a pen beside your bed, write down whatever comes into your head, full sentences, words, whatever is inside your head driving you insane get it out of your head onto that post-it, scrunch it up and aim it towards the bin. Lights out. Simple as that. Give it a go and see what happens, you might find yourself sleeping like my husband. (head hits pillow, pass out, snoring within 5 minutes, doesn’t hear ANYTHING.)

3) Shut the fuck up inside your head ladies. There is waaaaayyy to much going on in there and its toooo loud and noisy, its time to slow down your thoughts so you can mind dump the 1000’s of useless thoughts and make room for the thoughts that make you feel good instead.
5 minutes is all you need and to help you, you can download my FREE 5 minute “Sanity Saving” MP3 here and start using it straight away.
(waiting in the car before school pick-up is a total game changer to your mood).

Make the MP3 work for you fit it into your schedule so even if Paw Patrol is playing in the background and the kids are eating their faces off with chocolate covered in chocolate at least you’ve put a stop to the relentless nagging committee inside your head which means you’ve stopped making yourself feel bad.
You can buy “Recharge Your Sanity” for €15.

4) Smile, even a false smile will send happy signals to your brain. Smiling reduces stress that your body and mind feel and smiling helps to generate more positive emotions within you. That’s why we often feel happier around kids, they smile more. On average kids smile 400 times a day. Whilst happy people still smile 40-50 times a day, the average of us only does so 20 times. When you’re around your kids and you catch them doing something that makes you smile, its from ear to ear, isn’t it? Even the little things mange to achieve that ear to ear smile so hang out with your kids and increase your smiling target. If your kids are getting on your nerves remember this and lash a smile on your face.

5) Get out into nature because nature has a way of calming us. There is a silence in nature that sooths our nerves. The brain sends these calming signals to our bodys and our muscles relax and unwind and when you begin to feel this happening the domino affect between brain and body begins to form a loop, racing thoughts and overthinking stops and the body relaxes. Kids love nature and if your kids are doing exams ditch the books and drag them with you because they need a bit of peace and quiet inside their heads too they just don’t know it.

HipMums  Workshops

I have developed 2 unique Workshops that are an essential piece of kit for all Mums-to-be and Parents.

 

My “You’re Pregnant!” Workshops aim to make sure that every woman after giving birth to her baby thinks “I’m great, look what I just did.” No matter what kind of birth you are planning, home, hospital, with or without epidural or if a c-section is the outcome, you can feel brilliant about delivering your amazing baby into this world.

You can BOOK HERE.

 

 

My “You’re A Parent!” Workshops are all about you. Once a month, take a break from the 24/7 job that is parenthood. Recharge your over worked body and get your sanity back on track. At the workshop you get time to rethink what’s spoiling your fun and after the workshops because your reaction to things is much calmer, you’ll begin to notice you don’t sweat the small stuff anymore. You can BOOK HERE.

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6 thoughts on “Mindful Mom.

  • Alisa

    I’m also a mind-dumper. I think the reason that I let stuff keep floating around and around in my head is because I’m afraid I’m going to forget something important. When I write it down, it’s like giving permission to let it out of my head through my hand! Great tips!
    #ablogginggoodtime

  • wendy

    I am SUCH an over thinker Great tips to try and stop it too, I definitely need to shut the fuck up in my own head! Really useful post xx #BlogCrush

    • HipMumsRelax Post author

      thanks a million Wendy. Some people prefer to use a single word like “ENOUGH” or “STOP IT” so choose a word or sentence that works for you in your head that immediately makes your internal nagging committee stop in its tracks and then ask yourself a useful question like “Whats the most useful thing for me to do now?” then you’ll begin to notice your thoughts changing to support you and build you up instead of making you spin on the Worry-Go-Round inside your head.

      Think about it, you would never speak to your best friend like that so stop speaking to yourself like that inside your head :-)